Gifts for Groomsmen:
While the bridesmaids - who have already bought an ugly taffeta dress and shoes dyed-to-match - usually receive as a wedding gift an ugly piece of jewelry to match the outfit just mentioned, the groomsmen generally make out with some good stuff. Think about it, any self-respecting groom will bestow on his team gifts which he wouldn't mind receiving himself.
If you've done your job and thrown a respectable bachelor party, the groom will know that you're a man who knows his way around a bar. Barware is always a welcome gift. Who can own enough martini shakers? Martini glasses? Elegant but easily knocked over Pilsner glasses? Sturdy and comfortable pint glasses? You almost can't go wrong.
Tickets to Sporting Events
Imagine the groom handing you an envelope stuffed with a ticket for each groomsman to the bleachers at Wrigley Field. Imagine, the groom and his bride are on their honeymoon, and you and the boyz are watching the Cubbies - now that wedding wasn't such a hassle, now , was it?
Now you're talking, a couple nice Cubans would do the job. Don't hold your breath, though, unless you're a movie star and the groom is Arnold Schwartzenegger.
A hip flask has a hip factor of 9.7 or above. It's a way to respectably carry just enough alcohol to take the nasty edge off of things like those cold days on the slopes, or a 5:00 a.m. fishing expedition in an aluminum boat, or a blind date who makes you wish you were blind.
It's a guy accessory, it could be cool to pull one out in front of the pretty babies.
Fountain pens are enormously cool, but require regular use and maintenance - be sure about the recipient. There are also pen and pencil sets by Cross, Waterman, and Mont Blanc which are always welcome, because at any wedding, an unattached man in a tuxedo will find at least one set of digits worth writing down.
If your tie is nailed to your chest it probably wont end up on your head.
Less restrictive that handcuffs.
Time is of the essence. No time like the present. Time is on your side. Time for another shot of tequila. Time to put this to bed.
Swedish penis enlarger? It's not my bag baby!
Sometimes girlfriends need help shaving those delicate places.
Travel? Where are you off to at this hour?
Then you can be the cut-up we all know you can be.
Cigar Travel Case:
Then you can get on your own case and get off everyone else's.
There's nothing funny about lighters.
Which brings us back to Doe.